You cannot assume just because you’re in the same environment, they get it.
Your unique perspective, whether you clean the floors or run the organization, has value and the people making the decisions need you. They may not know it. They can’t know it unless you tell them.
In the last few days I’ve had a 2 [...]
Posts under ‘The Secrets’
They Don’t Know What You Know
Why I Teach Communication
The brain has 40 quadrillion–that’s right 40 followed by fifteen zeros–possible connections. Nothing our brains do is simple. No perception or behavior fires from one place. When the right connections fire over and over, people can achieve amazing things.
When you want more of something, and you want it more consistently, you have to build pathways. [...]
When Verbal Kung Fu Fails
Sometimes, there is simply nothing you can say.
Whether the other person is
Fixed in his attitude or ideas,
She has had the kind of bad day where only a good night sleep or a month of vacation will let her relax,
Or in the worst cases, the person’s brain chemicals are misfiring like an engine with a worn [...]
Are You Excited?
I know it’s hard out there right now. People keep messing with us, our security and what we desperately want to see happen at work, at home, and in our needy world.
There is something you can do right now: Get excited. No matter how bad it is, there is something that moves you. In any [...]
If You Force Him, He Will Crumble
You have a teammate that struggles speaking in front of other people. It doesn’t matter if it’s a short presentation with people in your office or if it’s with clients, the very idea of public speaking makes him want to become an ostrich.
If you’re the boss, don’t force him. Worse, don’t tell him, “You can [...]
Learning is Like Love
Remember falling in love fast: The pure thrill that lasted the first few months, weeks, or minutes. And then, if you stayed together, you realized that all was not roses and endorphins and the work began.
Perhaps you’ve had the chance to stay in love a long time. Maybe the love started slowly. Bit by bit [...]
The Most Important Thing To Do When…
When you’re ready to throttle a colleague because they’re not making any sense (especially if you’re the boss), pause.
Most likely, she has something important to say, but she isn’t communicating in a way that matches the way you think.
If you’re deductive, and most executives and busy people become more deductive over time because they process [...]
We See Things Differently
You will not perceive things the same way as the people around you.
I sat over the holidays with my dad looking at pictures. They were of my parent’s trip to Scotland for their 40th wedding anniversary and a few sunset shots from their house in New England.
Certain pictures were so beautiful I couldn’t help but [...]
Better Than Perfect
Perfect communication is not the goal. You may be that rare master who can make every conversation flow, every presentation pop, and every meeting a true pleasure. Most of us have bad days.
The difference between the people you want on your team and a perfect communicator: focus.
The person trying to communicate perfectly focuses on the [...]
Salt
Watching the Top Chef reunion show last nigh on DVR, it turned out the difference between the two brothers who finished 1-2: Salt. If the older Voltaggio brother had added a little more salt to his first two dishes, he wins.
There is no better analogy to why communication matters so much at work. If you [...]