I’ve started blogging at whyilead.org/blog. It’s a research study for leaders and a community I’m building with one of ING’s Heads of Learning.
The excitement about this project has been really fun, and we have a problem.
What we keep finding is that people who are doing some of the best leadership don’t consider themselves leaders. Other [...]
Posts under ‘Exercises’
Are You a Leader?
4 Seconds: What to Say Next
In the first 4 seconds you’ve noticed the person’s eyes, shoulders, and any grunt they emitted (we’re not that far from the apes remember).
If the other person starts talking, listen. We’re all very quick to unload whatever’s on our mind at the expense of an oppurtunity to hear what the other person is thinking. When [...]
4 Seconds: Grunts
Before you say anything, the final behavior to notice in the person with whom you’re having a conversation: Grunts.
The sounds people make can be as informative about their state of mind and the way they need you to communicate with them as full paragraphs of dialougue.
Grunts are any one or two syllable sounds that may [...]
4 Seconds: Shoulders
In the second moment of an interaction–at work, at home, with a stranger–look at the person’s shoulders.
Slumped shoulders=bored or tired
Raised, narrow shoulders=stressed or anxious
Broad, slightly back=confident and relaxed
If you see slumped shoulders, the person needs you to engage them. If the person’s shoulders seem shrunk and tight, he needs your help pausing and relaxing. If [...]
4 Seconds: Eyes
In the first moment of an interaction at work (and this is really valuable at home too), find the person’s eyes.
Then read them. Are they distant? Angry? Bright?
Depending what the person’s eyes say, you can then choose what to say first (or whether to listen).
If the person is distant, you can say, “Hey, looks like [...]
4 Seconds: Prelude
People will change in an instant. It’s stressful out there right now and if you press a button, intentionally or by accident, the person you thought you knew becomes a man-eating creature out of Grimm.
It’s the same with strangers and people you know. People have preferences and tendencies and the problem is, even if you [...]
4 Seconds
I do an awareness exercise with folks before coaching sessions on the phone. I tell them how many rings it will be before I pick up.
You know I’m going to pick up. You know I will pick up on the fourth ring. The result: Time slows down. It feels like forever and understanding the value [...]
Exercise #4–Transitions
You have to deliver a presentation that people won’t forget: What do you practice? The answer: transitions.
You don’t have time to practice everything, and in fact, you may not want to. One of the biggest mistakes I made early in my career as a public speaker was trying to make every word perfect. That may [...]
Exercise #3–Do Over
This is going to be a longer, inductive intro than normal.
I spent the last week in Washington D.C. with 35 teenagers. You think your work culture is tough. Imagine living and working with a group of colleagues who openly question everything you say and only work hard if they know the work’s not going to [...]
Exercise #2-Ten Words
The exercise: Narrow down your focus to ten words and if you can’t write it on paper, you’re not ready.